I am a former British soldier after serving several operational tours and having numerous family 

bereavement's I have suffered with my mental Health. My recovery from my mental health problems would lead me to Photography.

 

I have always suffered with mental health issues after leaving the army but it took many years for my problems to fully surface and affect me. It wasn't till the death of my father and seeing him die which really triggered events. In the past i had felt embarrassed, ashamed and very paranoid of my mental health issues and what friend's and former soldiers I served with would think of me. I kept asking myself questions and looking for answers which I was never going to find on my own. I was continuously going round in circles which just made myself feel worst. The added pressure of running my own business was the final issue which resulted in me not being able to cope any more and calling for help.

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I had been receiving therapy through Combat Stress to regain my life and was encouraged to take a little bit of time for myself to find something I enjoyed and to find something I could focus on. It didn't matter how long even if it was only 10 minutes a week. I started off with early morning walks on my own, I found pleasure in walks with almost no one around me being in touch with nature and surrounding environment . walks were helping but were not enough, I needed something to really focus on.

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I have always had a little bit of interest in photography, being a big fisherman but my skills were very limited. I had used simple cameras and done basic editing. My mum was a keen photographer and and a very good one too. We use to talk a lot about photos and she would show me her recent photos and then ask for my opinions all the time. In August 2023 my mum sadly passed and she left me her DSLR with a couple of lenses so decided to give photography a proper go.

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Being an early morning riser I would go off before first light and try to capture the most beautiful moments of the morning at sunrise. It was so therapeutic being in touch with my surrounding environment and nature a bit like fishing . I would loose myself in the moment whilst I was out taking photos at sunrises. As we entered the months of  September and October and the early mornings got darker I realise my lens wasn't capable of taking quality photos in darker conditions so I purchased a second hand 20mm F1.8 lens something which was capable to take reasonable photos in low light. I started to moved from taking early morning Sunrise Photos to photos in the dark where I found a special love for low light and night photography.

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2024 is a new start I thought a blog would be a great way to share my recovery and self therapy through Photography. I have absolute no idea of what way this is going to go but the main aim is to share my 

photographs, experiences, and continue my recovery. Only my family and very close friends know about my battle with my mental health problems this is the first time I have every told anyone out side of that very small inner circle of friends and family which is huge for me. I do believe without opening up outside my inner circle I will never be able to move to the next step of my recovery. I will always be worried about who is going to find out about my mental health battles.   

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My Family have given me huge encouragement with my photography I ask for their opinion a lot just like I did with my mum.

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